Presidential Race to go to Courts

Recently, Democratic Presidential Candidate Barack Obama has been pushing to replace one of the upcoming presidential debates with a two on two basketball game, featuring teams of Presidential and Vice Presidential candidates facing off against each other.

Obama, who starred as a point guard in High School and led his team to win the Hawaii State championship, believes such a game would show the American voters that he has the leadership to not only lead a team on the court but also to lead a country.

Obama posed with his High School team as
John McCain simultaneously filed for social security.

Republican Presidential Candidate John McCain claims to not be familiar with this "new-age game" but nevertheless acknowledges that he must compete to show that he is not out of touch with the public.

"Is that the one with the round ball or the football-shaped ball?"

The prospect of the game does not seem to worry Obama much, as he continues to practice his already refined basketball skills. However, McCain feels that the outcome of the game could greatly effect the way voters will see him in the upcoming November election.

Desperately wanting to win the game, McCain has updated his list of possible Vice Presidential candidates to bolster his team's chance of winning. The Arizona Senator's short list of possible "running mates" includes Phoenix Suns guard Steve Nash, former Chicago Bull Scotty Pippen, Grandmama from "Family Matters" and the Monstars from "Space Jam."

While each of these choices can "ball," problems could come from the potential candidates. The American public could have a problem with Steve Nash because he is Canadian. In addition, some skeptics question whether America is ready for its first female Vice President.

"I'm excited at the prospect of becoming the Second Lady."

Selecting Scotty Pippen could bring controversy to the McCain camp since he would have to split time between the White House and his other part time job as Osama Bin Laden.

Pippen would have to evaluate his priorities.

A positive of selecting Grandmama would be that McCain, in comparison, would seem younger and possibly attract a different breed of voters. However, at the same time, the presidential candidate might not like the idea of being 1/8th the size of his partner and face the prospect of accidentally getting their dentures mixed up.

She helped Urkle, but can she help McCain?

Finally, the Monstars bring a refreshingly different choice coming from another galaxy. McCain would even be willing to ignore his platform and employ the aliens. Once again though, a shady past of kidnapping the Looney Toons bogs down their appeal, but more importantly for McCain he does not want to be lumped in with a bunch of losers who lost to a team with Porky Pig and Bill Murray.

"Get that weak shit outa here."

Seriously...BILL MURRAY?

Whoever the two Presidential Candidates choose as their Vice President and teammate one thing is sure: this election will be decided the way the Founding Fathers had always hoped for. Not on the campaign trail, in the press or even in the voting booths. This one will be decided where it matters. On the blacktop.